90 Second Emotions…?
The 90-Second Rule: Understanding and Questioning
Have you ever found yourself caught in a cycle of anger after a heated argument?
Or replaying a frustrating moment in your mind long after it happened?
Neuroscientist Dr Jill Bolte Taylor introduced a compelling idea through her research: emotions, at their core, have a natural lifespan of just 90 seconds. Hard to believe, right?
According to her findings, when an emotion is triggered, a chemical reaction occurs in the body. For example, when you feel anger, your brain releases adrenaline into the bloodstream. After 90 seconds, this chemical process is complete, and your bloodstream is clear. Beyond that point, any continuation of the emotion is due to your own engagement with the thoughts that triggered it.
It’s a fascinating concept—one that has gained traction in discussions on emotional regulation and mindfulness. But does this rule apply to all emotions? Is it truly that simple? While the 90-second rule offers a useful framework for managing everyday frustrations, it falls short when it comes to deep, enduring emotions like grief, heartbreak, or trauma. Understanding its limitations is just as important as appreciating its strengths.
The Power of Thought Loops
For fleeting emotions—like frustration over traffic, irritation from a passing comment, or the sting of a minor failure—the 90-second rule can be transformative. If we resist engaging in the thought loops that re-trigger an emotional response, we allow the feeling to pass naturally.
How often have we let a brief morning argument with a spouse affect the rest of our day? Or let frustration over a reckless driver impact our mood after we’ve reached our destination?
Dr Taylor’s insight suggests that if we simply observe emotions without attaching further thoughts, they will dissipate. The issue, however, is that many of us are conditioned to ruminate. We replay the argument, analyse what was said, and justify why we were right. In doing so, we are not experiencing a prolonged emotional reaction—we are actively re-triggering the original one.
When the 90-Second Rule Doesn’t Apply
While this model works well for everyday frustrations, it doesn’t adequately account for profound emotions like grief, heartbreak, or trauma. These emotions are often layered, complex, and deeply wired into our neural pathways. The idea that grief—a process that can last months or even years—could be contained within 90 seconds is unrealistic.
Additionally, our subconscious mind plays a powerful role in emotional experiences. Sometimes, we don’t even realise we are reliving a past emotion. A scent, a song, or a familiar setting can unconsciously transport us back to an experience, reigniting emotions as if they were happening in real time. Unlike conscious thought loops, these subconscious triggers can make the 90-second rule feel almost irrelevant.
A 3-Step Process to Apply the 90-Second Rule
For smaller frustrations that don’t require deep emotional processing, try this simple three-step process:
1️⃣ Pause and Notice – When you feel an emotional surge, pause and recognise it. Acknowledge the emotion without judgement.
2️⃣ Observe Without Engaging – Allow yourself to feel the emotion for 90 seconds without adding thoughts or narratives to it. Focus on your breath or bodily sensations. Are your shoulders tense? Are you clenching your teeth?
3️⃣ Choose Your Response – After the 90 seconds, ask yourself: Do I need to keep holding onto this, or can I let it go? If it’s not serving you, release it and move forward.
Finding the Balance
The real power of Dr Taylor’s insight lies in knowing when and how to use it. If you find yourself stuck in a loop of frustration over something small, recognising that the chemical lifespan of the emotion is just 90 seconds can be liberating. By not feeding the emotion with further thought, we allow it to dissolve.
However, when it comes to deeper emotions, we must be compassionate with ourselves. Grief, heartbreak, and trauma require processing. Dismissing them with the 90-second rule would be an oversimplification of human emotion. Instead, we can apply the principle selectively—using it as a tool for managing minor frustrations while allowing space for emotions that require deeper reflection.
The 90-second rule is a powerful reminder of how much influence we have over our emotional states—but it is not a universal truth for all emotions. Recognising when we are unnecessarily fuelling transient emotions can help us cultivate emotional resilience. At the same time, acknowledging that some emotions require time, space, and conscious processing ensures that we do not dismiss the depth of human experience.
Understanding emotions isn’t about suppressing them—it’s about knowing when to let them pass and when to honour them for as long as they need to stay.
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